How to Look Busy at Work Without Really Working
Dit wordt waarschijnlijk de meest nuttige tip ooit op Denidorm. Hoe professioneel doen alsof je aan het werken bent zonder eigenlijk aan het werk te zijn. En het is grondig aangepakt! Het volledige lessen en stappenpakket vind je bij Meer Lezen!
1. Know what the standards are.
2. Create the illusion of furious activity whenever possible.
3. Ask a lot of questions.
4. Open several of the applications you normally use
5. Be alert.
6. Watch out for Big Brother.
Most large companies now monitor their employees’ computer usage. Learn about your company’s policies on internet usage, and learn about their monitoring efforts.
- On the frontline, there are free programs you can install, called “virtual desktops”, that will allow you to have two active desktops on your computer (one for work, one for play) that you can switch between at the touch of a key when you hear the pitter-patter of supervisory feet.
- You can also defeat this sort of monitoring by positioning your computer in such a way as to block someone else’s view of the screen.
- Sneakier IT personnel, who monitor usage on the backend, are harder to fool. Use proxies to surf the web, or use cached Google pages of a website instead of going directly to the site. There are also a variety of programs you can get (many for free) specifically designed to help you avoid detection.
- When surfing the web, even with a proxy or cached pages, never delete parts of your history. Most IT loggers will see the sites deleted, and even if the logger logs every site visited, the techie will most likely not look meticulously at every site viewed. It just makes you look suspicious.
7. Have lengthy personal conversations away from your work space.
8. Visit friends in different departments,
9. Drink lots of water.
Not only is water good for your health and can combat certain types of cancer, it makes you have to use the bathroom a lot. Bathroom trips can take up a lot of time and are a legitimate way to waste time while still looking busy.
10. Make a decoy screen.
For a good catch-all, open a couple programs that you use daily. Make sure that all are visible and fill up your screen so you look busy. Then, take a screen shot using the “Print Scrn” button, open MS Paint, paste the image in, then save and set that image as your desktop background. You may also want to hide most of your desktop icons, as this could be a dead giveaway. Even if your computer is on the desktop, it’ll look as if you are deep into work!
11. Always, always carry a backup prop.
If you’re going to be away from your desk doing something other than work, carry a document you might have been reading with you. It’s best if it’s a “long term project” that you can convincingly say you were finally getting to.
12. Sending a package to yourself for special days will give the appearance of work.
Opening mail that was sent to you by you can help waste many minutes as you open, inspect and read the contents. If you feel that money is not an issue, a FedEx overnight envelope with signature required (pad it) will allow you the opportunity to open an “important” document and spend hours reviewing (and of course package more fun stuff and sending out).
Tips
Keep it simple. If you’re called on your whereabouts, have a nearly-true, simple, work-related answer ready for any situation.
The more time you spend typing, the busier you look. But, control your typing speed. Fast typing usually denotes email writing. Report writing or other work-related typing requires reflection and much more care; unless you are a professional typist.
If you’re in a job that requires you to make a quota of phone calls per day/week/month, call up your bank or a customer service line and just let them put you on hold. Sometimes you can get up to 20 minutes of hold time before you get to speak to someone, at which point you simply hang up. You’re eating up your time, and on the computer that tracks call time, it will appear as though you’re busy pushing clients to buy. But this probably won’t work when your calls are monitored.
Windows+M/Windows+D is the shortcut to show the desktop instantly. Use this quickly to hide whatever it was that you shouldn’t have been doing while giving the impression that you’re buried in work.
Open several applications that cover your desktop. Depending on your job, these can include Outlook, Excel, or some type of online program. Using Alt+Tab will allow you to switch from window to window, so you can be surfing the web one minute and appear to be working on some data entry the next.
In a less technical field (e.g. retail) you can get away with a lot if you just look intense and walk fast, especially if you have that back-up prop. When you look like you have an urgent mission, it’s unlikely a boss will stop you to ask what you’re really doing.
Disable your screensaver, or set the timeout for a really long time, so that it isn’t so obvious that you haven’t been at your desk for a while.
Warnings
Never brag about how you cut corners at work to other people—they may be interviewing at your company soon or know someone there.
These tips work best if used sparingly. If you end up getting little or no work done, you’re bound to get caught at some point. Even if you don’t get caught, you’ll have nothing to show for the time you’ve spent at the office. Use these techniques just to break up the day and make it go by faster, but then get back to work or risk losing your job.
Stay away from doing external paying work on company time. Sure, it seems like a great idea to work on your side job while you’ve got some time to kill at your main job, but it’s a bad idea. If you’re caught, you’ll almost certainly be fired, and in some jurisdictions your company can sue you for your wages and damages.
If you do decide to download programs to help you not get caught, make sure you do it while your computer’s not being spied on. Some office networks have a program installed that allows an administrator to view live screenshots of all of the monitors on a network.
You may be inclined to disable your screen saver to leave the impression that you haven’t been away for too long, however, disabling your screen saver gives other employees easy access to your machine. If someone accesses your computer, you will be held responsible for the actions performed on your computer because someone else will essentially have access to your accounts. Alternatively, you can lock your screen by pressing Windows+L.
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